He did not “forgive and forget.”
Somewhere along the line we have gotten this “impression” or even been “taught” that when we forgive an offense we forget the action that caused the injury. Yet, even when we have truly “forgiven” we often find that the memory of the pain remains.
Forgiveness is a decision made by the offended/injured party to personally erase the “debt” and lift any obligation incurred by the offending party. That is, the offended bears the cost of the offense.
Forgetting is not a supernatural moment of “amnesia” but rather a series of subsequent choices which align the offended’s (think I just made up a word!) future responses with their past decision. That is, when dealing with the one who has previously offended me, I remind myself that I have lifted the obligation, retired the debt of their action and therefore I will respond to them as though that injury never occurred. The memory will likely remain, but the recall of the decision to cover the debt guides my future response to them.
Confused yet? Wait till we unpack this testy truth on Sunday!
It was the ultimate betrayal and the injury inflicted was almost unparalleled. He was thrust from the position of the “favored of the father” to a purchased piece of flesh added to a cohort of other slaves to be marketed to the highest bidder. Over time he climbed the ladder of success and found himself again in a position of high esteem and great favor. Only to be suddenly thrust down again to the lowest possible pit—a prisoner on a trumped up charge of sexual assault. Once again he rose, over time, to a position of esteem and favor. Finally, postured on the second highest throne of the kingdom and entrusted with unlimited authority.
But the memory of the life-altering offense never completely departed. With all the benefits of his new position and all the authority that was entrusted to him, in the back of his mind were the brothers who “sold him out” and callously sent him away. Then, the day that every injured soul dreams of came his way! In his palace, bowing in the most vulnerable of postures, were the very ones who had so grievously sinned against him. Every single one of his offenders! How would he exercise his power and authority? What kind of “eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth” vindication would he extract?
At the end of the story we see the heart of the offended that erased the debt of the offense. He summarized his painful, yet Divinely orchestrated journey, by declaring to those whom it would have been easier to despise and destroy, “You meant it for evil…but God meant it for good.” The “50/20” Principle! (Genesis 50:20)
It’s hard to ignore the incredible parallel of the story of Joseph and the story of Jesus. One day when we, who have so deeply offended Him, are bowing before His throne, He will choose to use His power and authority not to extract vindication but rather to forever erase the debt! Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound!!!
“Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” —Ephesians 4:32
He doesn’t demand that we “forget” the injury but He does give grace to “forgive” the offender!
See you Sunday, Church!
Pastor Tom